Harry says family tried to STOP him and Meghan from leaving after ‘she was going to end her life’

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Prince Harry today dropped another nuclear ‘truth bomb’ on the Royal Family accusing them of ‘total silence’ and ‘neglect’ when Meghan was suicidal, claiming his father Prince Charles made him ‘suffer’ as a child and insisting he would not be ‘bullied into silence’ when he alleged ‘The Firm’ ‘trapped’, smeared and abandoned them.

In candid interviews with Oprah Winfrey on his new five-part AppleTV+ show, The Me You Can’t See, the Duke of Sussex said he and his wife felt abandoned by his relatives and this was one of their ‘biggest reasons’ for leaving for California last year. 

He told Oprah: ‘Certainly now I will never be bullied into silence’, adding: ‘I thought my family would help, but every single ask, request, warning, whatever it is, just got met with total silence, total neglect. We spent four years trying to make it work. We did everything that we possibly could to stay there and carry on doing the role and doing the job. But Meghan was struggling.’ 

He added: ‘That feeling of being trapped within the family, there was no option to leave. Eventually when I made that decision for my family, I was still told, “You can’t do this”, And it’s like, “Well how bad does it have to get until I am allowed to do this?”. She [Meghan] was going to end her life. It shouldn’t have to get to that.’ 

The Apple TV series was released in full online just four hours after his brother Prince William issued an extraordinary attack on the BBC for ruining Diana’s life after her Panorama interview with ‘rogue reporter’ Martin Bashir in 1995.

But despite the truth about how their mother was deceived into doing a show her friends say began a chain of events leading to her death in Paris less than two years later, Harry launched yet another full-frontal attack on the Royal Family, who are private exasperated and upset about his constant ‘pot shots’ from across the Atlantic. 

The Duke of Sussex described how his wife first told him she wanted to kill herself, while six months pregnant with Archie, on the way to the Royal Albert Hall in London in January 2019, and she spoke to him of the ‘practicalities of how she was going to end her life’. Harry said it reminded him of his mother’s final weeks in 1997, saying that it was when he was 13 and watching his mother’s coffin that he first thought: ‘I didn’t want the life’  

He said: ‘Meghan decided to share with me the suicidal thoughts and the practicalities of how she was going to end her life’, adding that she later decided against it because she didn’t want Harry to lose ‘another woman in my life’.

The Duke said ‘history was repeating itself’, because Princess Diana was with Dodi Fayed, who was Egyptian by birth, when she died in 1997, saying there was a real fear that he would lose Meghan too.

‘History was repeating itself,’ he told Oprah. ‘My mother was chased to her death while she was in a relationship with someone who wasn’t white. And now look what’s happened. It’s incredibly triggering to potentially lose another woman in my life. Like, the list is growing. And it all comes back to the same people, the same business model, the same industry,’ he said.

The Duke binged on alcohol and drugs to cope with the death of his mother, saying that being in London is a ‘trigger’ for his ‘anxiety’, and describes how how he is still haunted by the ‘sound of the horse’s hooves going along The Mall’ as his mother’s coffin passed him. 

Harry also used the five-part renew his criticisms of his father’s parenting, and how the Queen had also brought up Charles, insisting he had to quit as a frontline royal to ‘break the cycle’.

He said: ‘My father used to say to me when I was younger, he used to say to both William and I, ‘Well, it was like that for me so it’s going to be like that for you,’ Harry says, ‘That doesn’t make sense. Just because you suffered, that doesn’t mean your kids have to suffer. In fact, quite the opposite. If you suffered, do everything you can to make sure that whatever negative experiences you had, you can make it right for your kids.’

‘Isn’t this all about breaking the cycle?’ he asked, rhetorically.  ‘Isn’t this all about making sure that history doesn’t repeat itself.’ 

Harry insisted he has ‘no regrets’ about his decision to emigrate to LA saying he believes Diana ‘helped me get here’ and that Meghan’s insistence he went into therapy has ‘equipped me to be able to take on anything’, including ‘reconciliation and healing’ with his British family. 

At one point he speaks to a therapist and is filmed having a form of therapy known as EDMR – known as Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing.  Harry is seen comforting himself with a series of movements such as closing his eyes and crossing his arms while remembering events in his past.

As Harry launched more repeated attacks on the royals, it also emerged: 

• Meghan told him she wanted to kill herself and had planned how to do it – but was only prevented from killing herself by concern over him ‘losing another woman in my life’;
• Duke says he drank alcohol and took drugs to cope with his mother’s death, admitting he would drink a week’s worth of booze on a Friday or Saturday night to ‘feel less like he was feeling’;
• He again blasted his father’s parenting, saying Charles informed him and William that they would suffer the same problems he did but he was determined to ‘break the cycle’;
• Prince Harry reveals one of Archie’s first words was ‘Grandma’, along with crocodile and hydrate, and it made him ‘really sad’ because his late mother Diana ‘should be here’ to see her grandson grow up;
• Returning to London to attend Prince Philip‘s funeral last month was a ‘trigger’ for his anxiety, and a test of his ability to cope, showing Oprah how he meditates as he was ‘worried and afraid’ about returning to the UK;
• The Duke describes how he is still haunted by the sound of hooves after being forced to watch his mother’s coffin pass him on The Mall;

Harry’s candid interviews with The Me You Can’t See is going to cause more tensions with the Royal Family, who were braced for another attack overnight.

But they may not have been ready for the amount of criticism he hands out in the five-part series, with Harry telling his co-host and co-producer Oprah Winfrey that his relatives trapped, smeared and abandoned him and Meghan. But he said would ‘never be bullied into silence’ in the future.   

He did not go to his family when Meghan felt suicidal because he was ashamed the situation had got ‘that bad’ and also suspected the royals would not have been able to help.

The duke said: ‘That was one of the biggest reasons to leave, feeling trapped and feeling controlled through fear, both by the media and by the system itself which never encouraged the talking about this kind of trauma.

‘Certainly now I will never be bullied into silence.’  

In the candid interviews, the prince discusses his failure to process the grief from the death of his mother; the helplessness he felt to protect her; his dependence on drugs and alcohol to numb the pain; his anxiety and sense of being trapped in the palace; his family’s refusal to help when Meghan felt suicidal and how therapy helped him ‘break the cycle.’ 

‘For me, therapy has equipped me to be able to take on anything,’ he said. 

He says his family tried to prevent him and Meghan from leaving when she claims she was suicidal and admits to drinking and doing drugs in his 30s. 

‘Eventually when I made that decision for my family, I was still told, ‘You can’t do this,’ Harry recounted to Oprah. ‘And it’s like, ‘Well how bad does it have to get until I am allowed to do this?’ She [Markle] was going to end her life. It shouldn’t have to get to that.’

When asked if he has any regrets, he says it is not taking a stand earlier in his relationship with Meghan Markle, claiming she was only stopped from killing herself by concern over Harry’losing another woman in my life’. 

The pair had been married for less than a year and she was pregnant with their son Archie when, in January 2019, she told him she was deeply depressed. 

Markle first revealed the trauma of that night in her March interview with Winfrey. 

‘She was completely sane, yet at the quiet of night, these thoughts woke her up,’ Harry said. 

‘The thing that stopped her from seeing it through was how unfair it would be on me after everything that had happened to my mum and to now to be put in a position of losing another woman in my life — with a baby inside of her, our baby.’

Harry said that he did not know how to handle her confession. 

‘I’m somewhat ashamed of the way that I dealt with them,’ he said. 

‘And of course, because of the system that we were in and the responsibilities and the duties that we had, we had a quick cuddle and then we had to get changed to jump in a convoy with a police escort and drive to the Royal Albert Hall for a charity event. Then step out into a wall of cameras and pretend as though everything’s okay. 

‘There wasn’t an option to say, ‘you know what, tonight, we’re not going to go’ because just imagine the stories that come from that.’

The prince, whose new series airs on Apple TV+ from May 20, told Winfrey he feared ‘history repeating itself’ after he began dating Markle , and was reminded of his mother being pursued to her death while she was dating ‘someone who wasn’t white’.

Diana, the princess of Wales, died in 1997 alongside Egyptian film producer Dodi Al Fayed, who she had been dating for several months.  

Harry said he felt there were parallels in their stories when he followed in his mother’s footsteps and began dating a person of color. 

‘My mother was chased to her death while she was in a relationship with someone who wasn’t white,’ he said. 

‘And now look what’s happened.

‘It’s incredibly triggering to potentially lose another woman in my life. Like, the list is growing. 

‘And it all comes back to the same people, the same business model, the same industry.’

In the candid interview, the prince discusses his failure to process the grief from the death of his mother; the helplessness he felt when he struggled to protect her; and his dependence on drugs and alcohol to numb the pain.

He spoke of his anxiety and sense of being trapped in the palace, and his family’s refusal to help when Meghan felt suicidal.

He said therapy helped him ‘break the cycle.’

‘For me, therapy has equipped me to be able to take on anything,’ he said.

He says his family tried to prevent him and Meghan from leaving when she was suicidal and admits to drinking and doing drugs in his 30s.

‘Eventually when I made that decision for my family, I was still told, ‘You can’t do this,’ Harry told Winfrey. 

‘And it’s like, ‘Well how bad does it have to get until I am allowed to do this?’ 

‘She [Markle] was going to end her life. It shouldn’t have to get to that.’

When asked if he has any regrets, he says it is not taking a stand earlier in his relationship with Markle.

 Harry told Winfrey that the trauma from his childhood ran deep. 

‘I always wanted to be normal, as opposed to being Prince Harry, just being Harry,’ he says. 

‘It was a puzzling life and, unfortunately, when I think about my mum the first thing that comes to mind is always the same one, over and over again: Strapped in the car, seatbelt across. My brother in the car as well, and my mother driving and being chased by three, four, five mopeds with paparazzi on.’

He said that his mother was vulnerable, exposed, and given no support.

‘She was almost unable to drive because of the tears, there was no protection,’ he recalled. 

‘One of the feelings that come up is helplessness. Being too young, being a guy too young to be able to help a woman, in this case, your mother. 

‘And that happened every single day until the day she died.’

The 36-year-old, who began dating Markle in 2016 and married her in 2018, said that he has been seeing a therapist for the past four years.

He told Winfrey that he found it incredibly beneficial, and the process helped him deal with the trauma of his mother’s death. 

 He explained that he simply tried to push his mother from his mind. 

‘I don’t want to think about her, because if I think about her then it’s going to bring up the fact that I can’t bring her back and it’s just going to make me sad,’ he said. 

‘What’s the point in thinking about something sad, what’s the point of thinking about someone that you’ve lost and you’re never going to get back again. 

‘And I just decided not to talk about it.’

In his 20s and early 30s the prince self-medicated with alcohol and drugs, he has revealed. 

‘Towards my late 20s, I was starting to ask questions of should I really be here? That was when I suddenly started going, ‘You can’t keep hiding from this.”

He said his family could not understand his attitude, and his need to deal with the grief.

‘Family members have said just play the game and your life will be easier,’ Harry told Winfrey. 

‘But I have a hell of a lot of my mum in me. I feel as though I am outside of the system but I’m still stuck there. 

‘The only way to free yourself and break out is to tell the truth.’  

He said that the attention he and his wife get ‘makes my blood boil’.

The prince explained: ‘We get followed. Photographed, chased, harassed. The clicking of cameras and the flashes of the cameras makes my blood boil. 

‘It makes me angry and takes me back to what happened to my mom and what I experienced as a kid. 

‘Not just traditional media, but also social media platforms as well. I felt completely helpless.’

Meghan told him HOW she was going to kill herself just before they attended concert at Royal Albert Hall – but didn’t because she didn’t want him to lose ‘another woman in my life’ 

Prince Harry has told Oprah Winfrey that his wife Meghan Markle was only prevented from killing herself by concern over him ‘losing another woman in my life’.

In his new docuseries, The Me You Can’t See, Harry opens up about the night Markle told him she was suicidal.

The pair had been married for less than a year and she was pregnant with their son Archie when, in January 2019, she told him she was deeply depressed. 

Markle first revealed the trauma of that night in her March interview with Winfrey.  

‘The thing that stopped her from seeing it through was how unfair it would be on me after everything that had happened to my mum and to now to be put in a position of losing another woman in my life — with a baby inside of her, our baby,’ he said.

‘The scariest thing for her was her clarity of thought. 

‘She hadn’t ‘lost it.’ She wasn’t crazy. She wasn’t self-medicating, be it through pills or through alcohol. 

‘She was absolutely sober. She was completely sane. Yet in the quiet of night, these thoughts woke her up.’ 

Harry said that he did not know how to handle her confession. 

‘I’m somewhat ashamed of the way that I dealt with them,’ he said. 

‘And of course, because of the system that we were in and the responsibilities and the duties that we had, we had a quick cuddle and then we had to get changed to jump in a convoy with a police escort and drive to the Royal Albert Hall for a charity event. Then step out into a wall of cameras and pretend as though everything’s okay. 

‘There wasn’t an option to say, ‘you know what, tonight, we’re not going to go’ because just imagine the stories that come from that.’

He said that the night was, for him, a revelation. He realized that they could not continue the way they were.

‘While my wife and I were in those chairs, gripping each other’s hand, the moment the lights go down, Meghan starts crying. I’m feeling sorry for her, but I’m also really angry with myself that we’re stuck in this situation,’ Harry said. 

‘I was ashamed that it got this bad. I was ashamed to go to my family. 

‘Because to be honest with you, like a lot of other people my age could probably relate to, I know that I’m not gonna get from my family what I need.

‘I then had a son who I’d far rather be solely focused on, rather than every time I look into his eyes, wondering whether my wife is going to end up like my mother and I’m going to have to look after him myself.’ 

Prince Harry says Royals tried to STOP him and Meghan leaving after ‘she was going to end her life’

But, the prince said, his family tried to stop him and Meghan from leaving, even as she was supposedly feeling suicidal.

‘That feeling of being trapped within the family, there was no option to leave. Eventually when I made that decision for my family, I was still told, ‘You can’t do this.’ And it’s like, ‘Well how bad does it have to get until I am allowed to do this?’ She [Markle] was going to end her life. It shouldn’t have to get to that.’

He said his biggest regret was not taking a stand earlier in his relationship with Markle, claiming a barrage of attacks on her won’t stop ‘until she dies.

‘It’s incredibly triggering to potentially lose another woman in my life,’ Harry said in the interview with Oprah. ‘Like the list is growing, and it all comes back to the same people, the same business model, the same industry.’

‘London is a trigger’: Prince Harry tells trauma therapist of his fears about visiting UK – as he lets cameras film him crossing his arms and closing his eyes in extraordinary footage from EDMR session that has ‘freed him’

Prince Harry has revealed he becomes ‘tense and update’ whenever he visits Britain, during a therapy session filmed on camera in which he said: ‘London is a trigger.’

The Duke of Sussex said in his new mental health documentary series with Oprah Winfrey that he has ‘always felt worried’ for most of his life when he flies back to London, but only became aware of this after doing therapy.

Appearing on Apple TV’s The Me You Can’t See, Harry told how he remembered ‘everything felt tense’ when he travelled to London ‘because of what happened to my mum, and because of what I experienced and what I saw’.

The Duke, who co-created the documentary, has addressed traumatic memories from his childhood, including the death of his mother Diana, Princess of Wales, and the impact of social media on him as well as his wife Meghan.

He was filmed having a form of therapy known as EDMR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing), which is a treatment technique for helping someone come to terms with traumatic experiences. This saw Harry carry out a series of movements such as closing his eyes and crossing his arms while remembering events in his past. 

The Duke, who now lives in an £11million mansion in Montecito, California, carried out the therapy via videolink with Sanja Oakley, a UK-based psychotherapist who used to be a trauma specialist for London Underground.

Prince Harry told the documentary, released today: ‘For most of my life I’ve always felt worried, concerned, a little bit tense and uptight whenever I fly back into the UK, whenever I fly back into London.

‘And I could never understand why. I was aware of it, I wasn’t aware of it at the time when I was younger, but after I started doing therapy stuff I became aware of it.

‘I was like, why do I feel so uncomfortable? And of course for me London is a trigger, unfortunately, because of what happened to my mum, and because of what I experienced and what I saw.’

He told London-based Ms Oakley: ‘Happens every time. I can’t remember the first time it happened, I can just remember the feeling, anxiety, like a hollow empty feeling almost of nervousness, is it fear? Everything feels tense.

‘It’s being the hunted, and being helpless and knowing that you can’t do anything about it. There is no escape. There is no way out of this.’

Speaking to Oprah in episode three about his work with Ms Oakley, he added: ‘Wherever I could I wanted to understand more about what was going on and why my nervous system was reacting the way that it was.

‘I quickly established that if this relationship was going to work then I was going to have to deal with my past, because there was anger there, and it wasn’t anger at her, it was just anger, and she recognised it, she saw it.

‘Well, so how do I fix this? And it was a case of needing to go back to the past, go back to the point of trauma, deal with it, process it, and then move forward.

‘Having now done therapy for four and bit years, five years now, for me it’s all about prevention.

‘That doesn’t mean we have to speak to them every single day, but to have someone that can help guide us and create that awareness in our own life to when we might be feeling pain and how to get out of that and what the tools are available to us on any given day to make sure that it doesn’t snowball into something bigger.

‘EMDR is always something that I’ve wanted to try and that was one of the varieties of different forms of healing or curing that I was willing to experiment with.

‘And I never would have been open to that had I not put in the work and the therapy that I’ve done over the years.’

 

Harry says he was ‘worried and afraid’ to return to UK for Philip’s funeral but ‘used his coping skills learned in therapy to get through’

For Harry, returning to London to attend Prince Philip‘s funeral last month meant once more facing a place where he felt trapped and hunted by cameras. It would be a test of his ability to cope with the anxiety that was bubbling up again.

‘I was worried about it, I was afraid,’ Harry told The Associated Press during a recent joint interview with Oprah Winfrey to promote a mental-health series they co-created and co-executive produced for Apple TV+.

He was able to work through any trepidation using coping skills learned in therapy.

‘It definitely made it a lot easier, but the heart still pounds,’ said Harry, the Duke of Sussex and grandson of Britain’s Queen Elizabeth II and her late husband Philip.

In ‘The Me You Can’t See,’ which debuted Thursday night on Apple’s streaming service, Harry reveals that he first saw a therapist approximately four years ago at the encouragement of then-girlfriend Meghan. They’d had an argument and she recognized his anger seemed misplaced.

The series is another chapter in the unprecedented openness that Harry has brought to his life and his royal family relationships since stepping away from his duties and moving with his wife to California. In March, he and Meghan gave a headline-making interview to Winfrey that elicited a rare public response from the palace.

Harry’s self-work may be relatively recent but he and older brother William, The Duke of Cambridge, have long championed the importance of mental health. In 2016, Harry, William and his wife Catherine, the Duchess of Cambridge, launched Heads Together, an initiative to speak up and not be ashamed to ask for help when mental well-being is at stake.

Their collective work led to interactions with people across the globe, from all walks of life, and they recognized a common thread. ‘Sharing your story in order to be able to save a life or help others is absolutely critical,’ said Harry.

Harry is practicing what he preaches and laying bare his own struggles with trauma and grief. He describes in ‘The Me You Can’t See,’ the instances of feeling helpless as a young boy while riding in the car with his mother, Princess Diana, who cried as they were surrounded by paparazzi and she struggled to drive.

Years later, Diana was killed in Paris after the car she and friend Dodi Fayed were riding in, crashed during a high-speed chase to flee cameras. Harry was 12 and suppressed his own feelings to meet the mourning public gathered outside Kensington Palace.

Cameras rolled and snapped away as he walked behind her casket to Diana’s funeral, alongside William, father Prince Charles, Philip and Diana’s brother Charles Spencer.

Harry’s revelations coincide with Queen Elizabeth’s official confirmation a few months ago that he and Meghan will not return to their senior royal positions within the family, following a one-year trial period.

The couple now lives about 90 minutes north of Los Angeles in an exclusive area near Santa Barbara called Montecito. They count Winfrey, Katy Perry and Orlando Bloom as neighbors. The paparazzi still lurks but it’s less intense than in Los Angeles.

This new, outspoken prince who shares his emotions is a contrast to the ‘never complain, never explain,’ ‘keep calm and carry on’ mantras that are part of the prototypical British way.

The British tabloids have had a field day picking apart his statements. Some royal commentators have also cried foul over a contradiction between seeking a private life yet granting interviews and revealing family strife.

Harry appears to be cautious in choosing what he wants to speak about, and neither he nor Meghan seem interested in sharing their every move with the world. They do not operate a social media account.

He is undeterred by naysayers, he says, because there’s a greater good in being honest about his struggles. ‘I see it as a responsibility. I don’t find it hard to open up,’ he said. ‘Knowing the impacts and the positive reaction that it has for so many people that also suffer, I do believe it’s a responsibility.’

Winfrey was already working with Apple to develop a series on mental health when a conversation with Harry sparked the idea to join forces.

‘We were having a conversation and I asked him, ‘What are the two most important issues you think facing the world today?’ And he said immediately, ‘climate change and mental health.’ She mentioned the project and Winfrey recalls him later saying , ‘Oh, by the way, if you ever need any help with that … give me a call.’ And I went and turned around and said, ‘What’s your number?’

Winfrey’s existing partnership with Apple created a rare opportunity to reach the vast number of people who use the company’s devices, Harry said.

‘If that’s in a billion pockets on a billion screens, then maybe we can really start a global conversation about this,’ he said.

Winfrey recalls some of her own childhood traumas in ‘The Me You Can’t See.’ In addition to her and Harry’s stories, the series also features accounts from both regular people and celebrities including Lady Gaga and Glenn Close, who speak candidly about their own experiences with mental illness.

Winfrey said Harry pushed to present a global perspective. ‘This has got to be a world thing and not just a U.S. thing,’ she recounted him saying, adding: ‘I think we’ve accomplished that really well.’

Harry jokes he’s ‘slowly catching up’ to Winfrey’s decades of inner-work and encouragement of others to do the same whether on ‘The Oprah Winfrey Show’ or her ‘Super Soul Sunday’ interviews on OWN. Even Winfrey said she’s had a lot to learn.

‘I have dealt personally with one of the girls from my school (Oprah Winfrey Leadership Academy for Girls in South Africa), who had schizophrenia,’ Winfrey said. ‘Only after hearing the doctor say that ‘it’s a diagnosis. It’s not your life, it’s not who you are,’ that I had my great awakening about it. … ‘That is not you. You are a person who has a diagnosis of schizophrenia.’ That is powerful.’

Prince Harry reveals one of Archie’s first words was ‘Grandma’ (along with crocodile and hydrate) and it made him ‘really sad’ that his late mother won’t see her grandson – as he shares new footage of son playing on swing

Prince Harry has revealed his sadness that his son Archie will never get to meet his late mother, Princess Diana, claiming that her name was among the youngster’s first words. 

In his new mental health series with Oprah Winfrey The Me You Can’t See, the Duke of Sussex said: ‘I got a photo of her in his nursery, and it was one of the first words that he said — apart from “mama”, “papa”, it was then “grandma”. Grandma Diana.

‘It’s the sweetest thing, but at the same time, it makes me really sad because she should be here.’ 

The doting father also released new footage of his toddler son playing on the beach and on the swings at home. 

In one clip in the programme believed to have been taken in the grounds of the Santa Barbara mansion, the toddler can be seen sitting on a swing with his back facing the camera, while another person, believed to be Prince Harry, can be seen swinging alongside him. 

Elsewhere in the documentary series, the couple included colour footage first seen in black-and-white during their explosive Oprah interview, which shows their son Archie running along a beach with Meghan Markle, 39. 

However, in both moments, royal fans will only be able to get a glimpse of Archie’s face. It comes days after royal fans were left disappointed over not seeing Archie properly  after Meghan and Harry released a new picture of their son to celebrate his second birthday. 

Proud parents Meghan Markle and Prince Harry previously revealed more details of their son Archie’s extensive vocabulary during a more light-hearted moment in their bombshell Oprah interview.   

Harry, 36, and Meghan, 39, who now live in Montecito, California, said that their talkative toddler’s new favourite thing to say is ‘hydrate’, a week after his doting dad told James Corden‘s Late Late Show that Archie’s first word had surprisingly been ‘crocodile.’ 

However the focus of the interview was on Prince Harry and his mental health. 

He revealed he was discouraged from discussing his mental health as a child following the sudden death of his mother, and when he tried to ask his family for help more recently — when Meghan claimed she was feeling suicidal — he was ‘met with total silence’ and neglect. 

Harry says he took alcohol and drugs to cope with mother’s death and would drink a week’s worth of booze on a Friday night to ‘feel less like he was feeling’

Prince Harry has said the trauma of his mother’s death led him to use alcohol and drugs to ‘mask’ his emotions and to ‘feel less like I was feeling’.

The Duke of Sussex was just 12 when Diana, Princess of Wales, died in August 1997 in a car crash while being pursued by the press in Paris.

In the first three episodes of Apple TV’s The Me You Can’t See, the royal addressed traumatic memories from his childhood including the moment he was famously photographed with his brother, father, uncle and grandfather walking behind Diana’s coffin at her funeral.

The 36-year-old told his series co-host Oprah Winfrey: ‘I was willing to drink, I was willing to take drugs, I was willing to try and do the things that made me feel less like I was feeling.’ 

The royal said he would drink a week’s worth of alcohol on a Friday or Saturday night ‘not because I was enjoying it but because I was trying to mask something’. 

‘It was like I was outside of my body and just walking along doing what was expected of me. (I was) showing one tenth of the emotion that everybody else was showing: This was my mum – you never even met her.’

The series focuses on mental health, with Harry telling Winfrey the trauma of the loss caused him to suffer anxiety and severe panic attacks from ages 28 to 32.

‘I was just all over the place mentally,’ he said.

‘Every time I put a suit on and tie on … having to do the role, and go, “right, game face”, look in the mirror and say, “let’s go”. Before I even left the house I was pouring with sweat. I was in fight or flight mode.’  

‘It was like that for me so it’s going to be like that for you’: Harry claims Charles told him he would ‘suffer with the same problems as him’ in mental health doc with Oprah

Prince Harry again blasted his father’s parenting, claiming in a new mental health documentary series with Oprah Winfrey that his father told him he would suffer the same problems he did.

Prince Charles would allegedly tell his son to ‘play the game’ and his life would improve, Harry recounts in Apple TV’s The Me You Can’t See while discussing traumatic memories from his childhood – including the death of his mother Diana.   

‘My father used to say to me when I was younger, he used to say to both William and I, ‘Well it was like that for me so it’s going to be like that for you’,’ Prince Harry says in the new documentary.

‘That doesn’t make sense. Just because you suffered doesn’t mean that your kids have to suffer, in fact quite the opposite.’

‘If you suffered, do everything you can to make sure that whatever negative experiences you had, that you can make it right for your kids,’ he says.

Prince Harry, 36, suggests to Winfrey that he didn’t want to ‘play the game.’

‘I’ve got a hell of a lot of my mum in me. The only way to free yourself and break out is to tell the truth,’ he says. 

Prince Harry reveals an argument with then-girlfriend Meghan Markle pushed him to get therapy after he ‘regressed to 12-year-old Harry’ and feared he would lose her

Prince Harry revealed an argument with then-girlfriend Meghan Markle was what pushed him to get therapy.

In candid interviews with Oprah Winfrey on his new Apple TV show, The Me You Can’t See, the Duke of Sussex, 36, said he realised he could ‘lose the woman he could see spending the rest of his life with’ if he didn’t ‘fix’ himself.

Harry told how he had tried drugs and alcohol to numb his pain, not realising at the time that was what he was doing, and when people close to him told him to seek help, he would say he did not need help.

It wasn’t until he met Meghan, he said in the second episode, that he decided he needed help. He’s now been in therapy for four years.

‘I saw GPs. I saw doctors. I saw therapists. I saw alternative therapists. I saw all sorts of people, but it was meeting and being with Meghan,’ he explained. 

‘I knew that if I didn’t do the therapy and fix myself that I was going to lose this woman who I could see spending the rest of my life with. 

‘When she said, “I think you need to see someone,” it was in reaction to an argument that we had. And in that argument not knowing about it, I reverted back to 12-year-old Harry.’

Prior to seeking help, Harry told how he simply tried to push his mother from his mind.

‘I don’t want to think about her, because if I think about her then it’s going to bring up the fact that I can’t bring her back and it’s just going to make me sad,’ he said.

‘What’s the point in thinking about something sad, what’s the point of thinking about someone that you’ve lost and you’re never going to get back again. And I just decided not to talk about it.’

He said the moment he started therapy, his therapist told him that during his argument with his girlfriend, it sounded like he was ‘reverting to 12-year-old Harry’.

‘I felt somewhat ashamed and defensive. Like, “How dare you? You’re calling me a child”. And she goes, “No, I’m not calling you a child. I’m expressing sympathy and empathy for you for what happened to you when you were a child. You never processed it. You were never allowed to talk about it and all of a sudden now it’s coming up in different ways as projection”. 

‘That was the start of a learning journey for me. I became aware that I’d been living in a bubble within this family, within this institution and I was sort of almost trapped in a thought process or a mindset.’ 

Prince Harry reveals he’s ‘haunted by the sound of horses hooves’ on The Mall at Diana’s funeral and ‘didn’t understand’ why strangers were crying over his mum when they’d ‘never met her’

Prince Harry has revealed he didn’t understand the public outpouring of emotion following Princess Diana‘s death and that he didn’t want to share his grief with the world.    

Speaking on The Me You Can’t See, his new mental health series with Oprah Winfrey, The Duke of Sussex added that he’s ‘haunted’ by the sound of horses hooves clacking down The Mall at the Princess of Wales’ funeral and that he was ‘outside of his body’ while following his mother’s coffin. 

‘When my mum was taken away from me at the age of 12, just before my 13th birthday, I didn’t want the [royal] life. Sharing the grief of my mother’s death with the world,’ he said. 

‘For me, the thing I remember the most was the sound of the horses’ hooves going along the pavement. Along the Mall, the red brick road. By this point I was, both of us were in shock. It was like I was outside of my body and just walking along doing what was expected of me.

‘Showing one tenth of the emotion that everybody else was showing. I thought, “This is my mum. You never even met her.”‘

‘I always wanted to be normal as opposed to Prince Harry. Just being Harry. It was a puzzling life. 

‘But unfortunately, when I think about my mum the first thing that comes to mind is always the same one over and over again,’ he explained as footage of Diana taking Harry to school flashed on the screen.

Harry has previously discussed his mother’s funeral, saying that it was ‘an awful decision to make him at Prince William walk behind the carriage.

‘My mother had just died, and I had to walk a long way behind her coffin, surrounded by thousands of people watching me while millions more did on television. 

 ‘I don’t think any child should be asked to do that, under any circumstances. I don’t think it would happen today,’ he told Angela Levin in 2017.

Int the new interview Harry also revealed he’s struggled with ‘being too young to help his mother,’ and  that she had ‘no protection’.

‘Strapped in the car, seatbelt across with my brother in the car as well and my mother driving being chased by three, four, five mopeds with paparazzi on and then she was always unable to drive because of tears. There was no protection.

‘One of the feelings that comes up with me always is the helplessness. Being too young. Being a guy but too young to be able to help a woman, in this case your mother. And that happened every single day.’

 ‘Family members have said, “Just play the game and your life will be easier,” but I’ve got a hell of a lot of my mum in me. I feel as though I’m outside of the system, but I’m still stuck there. The only way to free yourself and break out is to tell the truth.’

‘My mother helped me get here’: Prince Harry says he feels Diana’s presence with him in California and believes she would be ‘incredibly proud’ of him for living the life she ‘always wanted for herself’

Prince Harry revealed he thinks Princess Diana would be ‘incredibly proud’ of him and says he feels her ‘presence’ with him in California. 

Speaking candidly in new AppleTV+ series The Me You Can’t See, Harry said: ‘I’m living the life that she wanted to live for herself. Living the life that she wanted us to be able to live.’

The Duke of Sussex, 36, said he believes his late mother ‘helped him get here’ and that he’s ‘never felt her presence more’ than he has over the last year living in California with Meghan, 39, and Archie, two. 

Prince Harry spoke about the important role his mother continues to play in his life, revealing Archie has a photo of Diana in his bedroom and that one of his first words was ‘grandma’. 

Harry also said he thought Diana was ‘chased to death’ and that he could see clear parallels between her and Meghan before their decision to leave the UK. 

The couple now live in a mansion in Montectio, California, and are expecting a daughter together this summer. 

Reflecting on the move, he said: ‘Making this move was really scary. At every possible opportunity the forces working against us tried to make it impossible. Did I expect to find ourselves in this situation so quickly? No. I think we’ve done a really good job. 

‘I have no regrets. It’s really sad but I have no regrets at all because now I’m at a place where I think I should have been four years ago… 

‘Now we’ve got a beautiful little boy who keeps us busy, keeps us running around, he makes us laugh every day. We’ve got two dogs. And another little baby girl on the way. I never dreamt that. 

‘I have no doubt my Mum would be incredibly proud of me. I’m living the life that she wanted to live for herself. Living the life that she wanted us to be able to live. 

‘Not only do I know that she’s incredibly proud of me, but that she’s helped me get here. And I’ve never felt her presence more than I have over the last year. I wish she could have met Meghan. I wish she was around for Archie.’