‘I didn’t want to be alive anymore,’ Meghan says
Meghan revealed in her interview with Oprah Winfrey that life in the royal family had driven her to suicidal thoughts.
When Winfrey asked if there had been a breaking point, Meghan said yes. “I just didn’t see a solution. I would sit up at night, like, I don’t understand how all of this is being churned out,” she said. “My mom and my friends (were) calling me crying saying, ‘Meg, they’re not protecting you.'”
“It was all happening just because I was breathing,” she said.
It drove her to the verge of despair, she said. “I was really ashamed to say it at the time, and ashamed to have to admit it to Harry especially, because I know how much loss he has suffered, but I knew that if I didn’t say it, that I would do it — and I just didn’t want to be alive anymore.”
“It was a very clear and real and frightening constant thought. I remember how he just cradled me, and … I went to the institution, and I said I needed to go somewhere to get help … and I was told that I couldn’t.”
She went to human resources as well to plead her case for leaving or seeking help, and though they expressed sympathy, they told her there was nothing they could do because she wasn’t a paid member of the institution, she was family.
“The way you’re describing this, you’re trapped and couldn’t get help, even though you’re on the verge of suicide. That’s what you are describing, that’s what I’m hearing,” said Winfrey.
“Yes,” Meghan replied. “That’s the truth.”
“I share this because there’s so many people who are afraid to voice that they need help, and I know how hard it is not just to voice it but to be told no,” she said.
