Meghan Markle reveals she has suffered a miscarriage
‘I knew, as I clutched my firstborn child, that I was losing my second’: Meghan Markle reveals she had a miscarriage in article for New York Times and how she watched tearful Harry’s ‘heart break’
- Duchess of Sussex has revealed tragedy of her miscarriage in July in US article called: ‘The Losses We Share’
- Meghan described feeling a ‘sharp cramp’ as she was changing Archie’s nappy and falling to the ground
- Hours later she was in hospital with Harry as they ‘tried to imagine how we’d heal’ from ‘unbearable grief’
- She said she tearfully watched her ‘husband’s heart break as he tried to hold the shattered pieces of mine’
- Duchess used article to speak about Covid-19 devastation and deaths of George Floyd and Breonna Taylor
- Have you suffered a miscarriage? Click here for support.
Meghan Markle today revealed she suffered a miscarriage over the summer in an article written for the New York Times.
The Duchess of Sussex has said she lost her second child after feeling a ‘sharp cramp’ while changing her son Archie’s nappy in July.
Writing in the New York Times today Ms Markle described falling ill at home in Los Angeles and being in hospital tearfully watching her husband Prince Harry’s ‘heart break as he tried to hold the shattered pieces of mine’ while grieving for their baby.
Describing the tragic moment she realised ‘something was not right’, she said: ‘After changing his diaper, I felt a sharp cramp. I dropped to the floor with him in my arms, humming a lullaby to keep us both calm, the cheerful tune a stark contrast to my sense that something was not right’.
In the piece called ‘The Losses We Share’, she said: ‘I knew, as I clutched my firstborn child, that I was losing my second’.
Ms Markle wrote: ‘Hours later, I lay in a hospital bed, holding my husband’s hand. I felt the clamminess of his palm and kissed his knuckles, wet from both our tears. Staring at the cold white walls, my eyes glazed over. I tried to imagine how we’d heal’. It is not known how many weeks pregnant Meghan was, but most women suffer miscarriages in the first three months.
Buckingham Palace is understood to have known about the miscarriage – but it is not clear if they knew about the New York Times article. A royal spokesman declined to comment.
Vanity Fair Royal Editor Katie Nicholl told the BBC: ‘The royal family were very supportive about it. They were aware of what had happened. Harry was in constant touch with them over the summer and they knew what they were going through. My understanding is they’ve been supported by the royal family on this episode.’
Ms Markle’s New York Times article also describes how:
- She revealed her miscarriage to break the ‘taboo’ of talking about losing a child and stop the ‘cycle of solitary mourning’ on the issue;
- The deaths of George Floyd and Breonna Taylor in the US and the impact of Covid-19 means: ‘Loss and pain have plagued every one of us in 2020’;
Meghan said she suffered the miscarriage while changing Archie’s nappy in July (pictured together in October 2019)
The Duchess said today there had been ‘breaking points’ for the world, including the one million-plus global Covid-19 deaths as well as the ‘social isolation’ of lockdown and the Black Lives Matter protests sparked by the deaths of George Floyd and Breonna Taylor in the US.
‘Polarization, coupled with the social isolation required to fight this pandemic, has left us feeling more alone than ever’, she wrote.
Today Meghan wrote that her miscarriage had happened on a July morning that ‘began as ordinarily as any other day’.
The Duchess of Sussex said she had woken up, fed the dogs, tidied up Archie’s clothes and crayons before ‘throwing my hair in a ponytail before getting my son from his crib’.
She then felt a pain in her stomach as she changed Archie’ nappy and then dropped to the floor holding him as she lost her unborn baby.
The duke and duchess then went to hospital where it was confirmed they had lost the baby.
Meghan says she has written the article about her own loss to encourage others to talk about it.
Justifying the timing of her article, she wrote: ‘This year has brought so many of us to our breaking points,’ Meghan writes. ‘So, this Thanksgiving, ‘let us commit to asking others, ‘Are you OK?’
She added: ‘Losing a child means carrying an almost unbearable grief, experienced by many but talked about by few.
‘In the pain of our loss, my husband and I discovered that in a room of 100 women, 10 to 20 of them will have suffered from miscarriage. Yet despite the staggering commonality of this pain, the conversation remains taboo, riddled with (unwarranted) shame, and perpetuating a cycle of solitary mourning.’
Meghan wrote in the New York Times that after losing her child this year, she had thought about the royal visit she and Harry made in September 2019.
She was moved when British journalist Tom Bradby had asked her: ‘Are you ok?’ having just had Archie.
She wrote: ‘I was exhausted. I was breastfeeding our infant son, and I was trying to keep a brave face in the very public eye’.
Meghan said that she admitted she wasn’t ok, saying it later became clear that it would ‘resonate’ with other mothers.
She said that it wasn’t her admission that helped her most it was the question Mr Bradby asked her.
The Duchess was being filmed at the time and she thanked the journalist for asking.
Her New York Times article also describes the turmoil in 2020 caused by Covid and tensions caused by the deaths of George Floyd and Breonna Taylor in the US saying 2020 was a year when ‘places where there was once community, there is now division’.
Meghan also then describes being in New York in her ‘late teens’ and seeing ‘a woman on her phone in a flood of tears’ – but decides not to speak to her.
Pondering whether that happened she said: ‘Now, all these years later, in isolation and lockdown, grieving the loss of a child, the loss of my country’s shared belief in what’s true, I think of that woman in New York. What if no one stopped? I wish I could go back and ask my cabdriver to pull over’.
In the final part of her piece the Duchess of Sussex warns of the ‘danger of siloed living’ and concerns that many ‘sad, scary or sacrosanct are all lived out alone’.
She then encourages people to stop people to ask: ‘Are you OK?’, adding that she believes that the ‘load of grief often becomes lighter’ when talked about.
The article ends: ‘Are we OK? We will be’.
The Duke and Duchess of Sussex have openly shared their hopes of having two children to complete their family.
It was no secret they dreamed of welcoming a new addition – a baby brother or sister for Archie Mountbatten-Windsor.
Harry told activist and chimpanzee expert Jane Goodall in 2019 that he would only have two children ‘maximum’ for the sake of the planet.
In Meghan’s New York Times article, she urges people to ask others if they are ok, adding: ‘In being invited to share our pain, together we take the first steps toward healing’
Harry and Meghan were last seen together marking Remembrance Sunday where they laid a wreath at the Los Angeles National Cemetery
The ITV interview that inspired Meghan’s miscarriage article after she was asked: ‘Are you ok?’
In an interview with ITV, The Duchess of Sussex said she has found the focus on her after her marriage and giving birth a struggle, adding: ‘Not many people have asked if I’m ok’
Meghan Markle said that she is ‘existing, not living’ while struggling with the pressures of royal life and media scrutiny.
The Duchess opened up during an emotional interview with broadcaster Tom Bradby for a documentary last October.
Mr Bradby, a friend of Prince William and Prince Harry, asks her if she is ok after an emotional and tiring year.
The Duchess of Sussex’s voice cracks as she reveals she has found it difficult to cope after getting married and giving birth, adding: ‘Not many people have asked if I’m ok.’
She replied: ‘Look, any woman especially when they are pregnant you’re really vulnerable and so that was made really challenging, and then when you have a new born – you know…
‘And especially as a woman, it’s a lot.
‘So you add this on top of just trying to be a new mom or trying to be a newlywed it’s, well…’
She continues: ‘Also thank you for asking, because not many people have asked if I’m OK. But it’s a very real thing to be going through behind the scenes.’
The intimate details shared in the article are strikingly at odds with the usual policy of senior members of the British royal family, who reveal almost nothing about their personal lives.
Although Zara Tindall has spoken about her experiences of miscarriage.
Harry’s uncle Earl Spencer offered his sympathy to his nephew and Meghan during an appearance on the ITV show Lorraine.
He told the host: ‘I can’t imagine the agony for any couple of losing a child in this way.
‘It’s so very, very sad. And of course, I totally agree with you, all thoughts with them today.’
Harry’s grandmother the Queen has never discussed her private life in any media interview in her 68-year reign.
But Meghan and Harry stepped back from royal duties and moved to the United States earlier this year. They have been trying to forge a new role for themselves outside the constraints of life in Britain’s strictly codified royal bubble.
Other royal women have experienced the loss of an unborn baby, with the Queen’s granddaughter Zara Tindall suffering two miscarriages before having her second child.
The Countess of Wessex lost her first baby in December 2001 when she was airlifted to hospital after suffering a potentially life-threatening ectopic pregnancy.
An estimated one in four pregnancies ends in a miscarriage according to the charity Tommy’s, which funds research into miscarriages, stillbirths and premature births, with most women losing their babies during the first 12 weeks of pregnancy.
Sophie King, a midwife at the charity Tommy’s, said the Duchess of Sussex’s article sent a ‘powerful message’ to others who have experienced the loss of a baby.
She said: ‘Baby loss at any stage in pregnancy is one of the most heart-breaking things a family can experience – and as Meghan Markle said, it’s experienced by many but talked about by few.
‘One in four pregnancies ends in loss, but it’s a real taboo in society, so mothers like Meghan sharing their stories is a vital step in breaking down that stigma and shame.
‘Meghan’s essay praises the bravery of parents who share their stories, and those who prefer to grieve privately can still find comfort and connection in reading about others’ experiences.
How Zara Tindall paved the way for Meghan Markle when she became the first royal to speak publicly about baby loss after suffering two miscarriages
Zara Tindall made headlines when she bravely spoke about suffering two miscarriages, paving the way for royal women like Meghan Markle to speak more openly on the difficult topic. Pictured, Zara with husband Mike Tindall in March 2020
The Queen’s granddaughter Zara Tindall became the first member of the royal family to speak publicly about miscarriage when she revealed she lost two babies following the birth of her eldest daughter.
Zara and husband Mike, who welcomed daughter Mia in 2014, revealed in December 2016 that a pregnancy announced the previous month had ended in a miscarriage.
Two years later in an interview with the Sunday Times, Zara, now 39, opened up about the devastation of losing the baby and revealed she had suffered a second miscarriage before falling pregnant with daughter Lena, now two.
Speaking about her experience in 2018, Zara said the hardest part of her first miscarriage was having to tell the world because news of the pregnancy had been made public.
Zara said: ‘In our case, it was something that was really rare; it was nature saying, ”This one’s not right.” I had to go through having the baby because it was so far along.’
Zara was thought to be around four-months pregnant at the time of her first miscarriage.
‘Everyone was. It was a time when my family came to the fore and I needed them,’ she said. She added: ‘It’s hard for the guys, it’s a different feeling of loss, isn’t it?’
‘Her honesty and openness today send a powerful message to anyone who loses a baby: this may feel incredibly lonely, but you are not alone. Friends and family, doctors and midwives, all of us at support organisations like Tommy’s; we’re here.’
Responding to Meghan’s article, Dr Christine Ekechi of the Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists said miscarriage ‘remains a taboo subject’.
She said: ‘Sadly, early miscarriages are very common and they can be a devastating loss for parents and their families. Up to one in five women may experience a miscarriage in the first twelve weeks of pregnancy. In many circumstances, the reason for the miscarriage is unknown. We are improving our understanding of why miscarriages occur and who may be at risk, but the topic is still largely under-researched and the care for women and their partners, under-resourced.
‘Currently, many miscarriages cannot be prevented however, a warning sign of miscarriage occurring may be bleeding and/or pain in early pregnancy. Pregnant women are advised to seek medical advice if they have any of these symptoms.
‘Miscarriage remains a taboo subject, despite how common it is. It is important that we remove any stigma or shame surrounding this issue and adequately support families during this time.
‘We welcome open discussion about miscarriage and encourage women to share their experiences, where they feel comfortable to do so. When supporting women and their partners through miscarriage, it is vital that we support them psychologically as well as physically.
‘By supporting research into miscarriage, prevention and treatment, we are hopeful this will mean fewer families experience a miscarriage, at any stage of pregnancy, in the future.’
The Sussexes, who quit as senior working royals in March in a quest for personal and financial freedom, were over the moon to welcome son Archie on May 6 2019.
Harry described Archie’s birth as ‘the most amazing experience I could ever have possibly imagined’.
Introducing the two-day-old to the world at Windsor Castle, Meghan said: ‘It’s magic, it’s pretty amazing. I have the two best guys in the world so I’m really happy.’
She added: ‘He has the sweetest temperament, he’s really calm.’
The duke and duchess are protective of Archie’s privacy.
When he arrived they declined to confirm where he was born, although his birth certificate later revealed he arrived at the private Portland Hospital in London.
Archie’s christening was also a private affair, like most royal baptisms, but Harry and Meghan did not release the names of his godparents.
The duke and American former actress Meghan had long-held ambitions to become parents.
The duchess once described motherhood as being on her ‘bucket list’, while Harry often said he would love to have children, particularly after the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge had their own.
Meghan, Duchess of Sussex, pictured in South Africa on one of her final royal visits at a charity supporting mothers
Harry’s uncle Charles Spencer send his thoughts to his nephew’s wife after hearing sad news of her miscarriage
Prince Harry’s uncle Charles Spencer said news of the miscarriage was ‘very, very sad’ while being interviewed by Lorraine Kelly on her ITV programme today.
Lorraine said to him: ‘I’m sure you’ll want to join all of us to send best wishes to Meghan and of course to your nephew Harry, because today we just found out the very sad news that she’d had a miscarriage, and it’s just terribly sad, isn’t it?’
Speaking from his home at Althorp in Northamptonshire, Earl Spencer replied: ‘It is, Lorraine, isn’t it. I mean I can’t imagine the agony for any couple of losing a child in this way, and it’s so very, very sad, and of course I totally agree with you – all thoughts with them today.’
It came as no surprise when Kensington Palace made the announcement in October 2018 – five months after Harry wed the ex-Suits star and as they began a busy tour to Australia and New Zealand – that the duchess was expecting.
The topic had even cropped up in the couple’s engagement interview.
‘You know, I think one step at a time, and hopefully we’ll start a family in the near future,’ Harry said.
In the run-up to the wedding, Meghan also hinted at starting her own brood.
On a trip to Belfast, less than two months before their big day, Meghan joked when she was shown an innovative range for newborns: ‘I’m sure at some point we’ll need the whole (lot).’
In an interview in 2016, she said becoming a mother was on her ‘bucket list’.
‘I can’t wait to start a family, but in due time,’ she said.
During Meghan’s pregnancy, a delighted Harry called the baby ‘our little bump’ and the duchess became known for repeatedly cradling her stomach.
With Archie’s arrival, Harry and Meghan appeared to take to parenthood with ease.
On a trip to the Hague soon after the birth, the duke described his newborn as ‘very quiet’.
Four months after Archie was born, Meghan was back at work, launching a capsule clothing collection in aid of the Smart Works charity.
She joked as she left the launch event: ‘I’ve got to get back to the baby – it’s feeding time.’
The couple have spoken of how much they enjoyed spending time with Archie in lockdown.
Meghan said in an interview with the Evening Standard in October: ‘We are doing well. (Archie) is so good. We are very lucky with our little one.
‘He is just so busy, he is all over the place.
‘He keeps us on our toes. We are just so lucky.’
‘I’m crying with you, Harry and Meghan’: Grieving parents share their own heartbreaking miscarriage stories as stars including Lorraine Kelly and Susanna Reid praise couple for offering ‘solace’ to others
Grieving parents who have suffered miscarriages have been sharing their heartbreaking stories online amid an outpouring of support for the Duke and Duchess of Sussex.
Meghan Markle, 38, today revealed she and Prince Harry, 36, suffered a miscarriage over the summer in a powerful essay written for the New York Times.
Parents who have suffered miscarriages have been sharing their heartbreaking stories online amid an outpouring of support for the Duke, 36, and Duchess of Sussex, 39, after Meghan Markle revealed she lost a baby this summer
Author Matt Haig and BBC presenter Tessa Dunlop were among those to commend the Duchess for the article, while sharing their own experiences
The Duchess has said she lost her second child after feeling a ‘sharp cramp’ while changing her son Archie’s nappy in July.
After the article was shared, Prince Harry and Meghan received a flood of support, with author Matt Haig and television star Lorraine Kelly and among those inspired to share their own stories of loss.
Speaking to Dr Hilary Jones on her breakfast programme today, Lorraine she said that Meghan opening up would help a lot of people.
She also brought up that she had suffered a miscarriage, saying: ‘Just seeing this this morning, it was almost exactly the same.
‘What really helped me was obviously being able to talk to you and being able to talk to other people and also Rosie, because she was only about six.
‘And I know that she’s a lot younger than that, but that will really help having another child to focus on.
‘My heart just goes out to her, it’s just so sad. And how she’s done it is absolutely brilliant.’
Meanwhile Matt Haig, who was chosen by the Duchess to feature in her Forces for Change issue of Vogue, tweeted: ‘My wife went through a miscarriage two years ago. We were in Australia and felt alone. It was so traumatic.
‘To grieve a future that wasn’t there. It also felt difficult to talk about. A strange taboo. It is so healthy and healing when anyone talks about this topic so openly.’
BBC Historian Tessa Dunlop commented: ‘I was exactly Meghan’s age with one child and a younger husband when I had a miscarriage.. then another … and another.
‘Be kind. It’s a very lonely space.’
Good Morning Britain host Susanna Reid also praised the article, tweeting: ‘The Duchess of Sussex writes painful, personal insight about the truly tragic loss of miscarriage.
‘This will be a solace to anyone who has suffered, particularly if they have found it hard to express the grief.’
Meanwhile other users flooded social media with support for the couple, with one commenting: ‘I’m crying with you, for Harry and Meghan, for myself who has lost 3 babies through miscarriage and for every other family or woman that has gone through this unbelievable and unbearable. My prayers for everyone who are able to respect each others pain, even if they don’t share it.’
Another tweeted: ‘Absolutely heartbreaking. As someone who has suffered four miscarriages, I felt every part of this article.
‘My thoughts are with Meghan and Harry.’
Clea Harmer, chief executive of stillbirth and neonatal death charity Sands, said: “We are so very sorry to hear that Meghan and Harry went through the pain of losing their second baby in July. Our hearts go out to them and all who have been affected by this cruellest of bereavements.
“Meghan sums up the pain of pregnancy and baby loss perfectly when she says ‘losing a child means carrying an almost unbearable grief, experienced by many but talked about by few’. The sad reality is that stigma surrounding pregnancy loss and baby death leaves many parents feeling isolated, so it helps enormously when someone in the public eye speaks out as it lets everyone affected know they are not alone.
“Going through this grief at any time is hard enough but the isolation we have all felt this year has made it even more difficult for parents whose baby has died during the Covid-19 pandemic and has brought back painful emotions for all those who have lost precious loved ones.
“Many people simply don’t know what to say when a baby has died. And because it is an ‘invisible’ loss many mothers go through miscarriage and may never reveal what happened to even their family or closest friends. But we can all make a difference simply by asking, as Meghan suggests, if someone we know is OK and by saying how sorry we are. The other person may not want to talk but they will know you care, and if they do want to talk it may be the start of a journey through their grief.
“Since the Covid-19 pandemic began we have heard heart-breaking stories of mothers having to attend appointments and scans alone, or receiving bad news without their partner beside them. Sands has been sharing these insights with the NHS and Government and the outcome is that many of these issues are now being tackled.”
In the wake of Meghan’s New York Times piece, grieving parents have taken to social media to share their own miscarriage experiences
Zoe Clark-Coates, founder and chief executive of baby loss and bereavement charity The Mariposa Trust, said she hopes the Duchess of Sussex’s essay shows miscarriage is “not just a women’s issue”.
She told the PA news agency: “(Meghan) is clearly expressing here that it’s not just her that’s going through it, this is both of them as a couple that are going through it.”
Ms Clark-Coates said that is a “big part” of her work on pregnancy loss, adding: “One of the clear things that’s been identified is the fact that women are often offered some sort of support, sometimes not great, sometimes amazing.
“But men are often the forgotten party and aren’t given any support at all. And that needs to change.
“That jumped out to me today, the fact that Meghan clearly was saying that both her and Harry were in equal agony, they were weeping together, they were heartbroken together.
“And I really hope that shows the world at large the fact that this is not just a women’s issue, this is something that effects couples but also extended families, it effects other siblings, it effects grandparents, and extended family members too.”
